First, let’s understand what’s fear. The best explanation I ever heard about fear came from the Author and Psychologist Robert Holden. He said: Fear is a call for love.
I sat on those words for days until my body and mind fully understood.
We learned as a child that fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger or threat that we anticipate. As we mature, we begin to understand that fear has become a safety mechanism. Like a said, Fear is the emotion that stops a little child from putting her hand in the fire a second time or prevent an adult from the jump off a cliff. We understand the consequences.
Fear has an opinion about everything, often it awakens our negative. It wants to be heard, but it doesn’t require to be followed.
Fear is an emotion and every emotion wants to be felt. Hiding the fear in the back of the closet doesn’t do as much for us. It will be nudging us on and off throughout our days.
Most of us tend to use Prudence to make big decisions, and not taking any action is a decision. When we are prudent, we use reason or sound judgment to exercise caution when facing possible danger or risk. After a while, it becomes a skill.
But being prudent is a personal observation. What seems to be of sound judgment for you may be irresponsible for me. No one really knows what intentions, vision, or conditions someone is under when they avoid or take action.
When faced with a big decision, some people will use their emotions while others will use their logic. But I learn that the best way is to use our love.
If Fear is a call for love and love is the opposite of fear, then if we choose to love, we will hear the fear, put it to bed and take the best action.
How to use love to take action
Let’s say that Laura has been contemplating a job change. She is not happy with her boss and the type of work she does. After sending her resume out, she is called for a few interviews, and now she was offered a job. The job pays a bit more than she used to make but provides fewer benefits. Also, she won’t be able to take a vacation for at least 6 months.
She is afraid of leaving her current job that she dislikes because she is comfortable with the workload, the people, and the routines. She is the senior person in the office and already has priority when taking a vacation.
When Laura learns about making decisions out of love or out of fear, this is how she would process the decision:
“Laura, like many people is afraid of the unknown. She doesn’t know the job or the people she will be working with. Her fears are telling her to feel safe and stay put. If Laura acknowledges the fear and understand that Fear is a call for love, she would get insights from the fear instead of being paralyzed, which is the consequences of being led by fear.
Laura is being called to act with love. That’s the real reason for feeling the feat. Would she be more self-loving by staying on a job she dislikes or by learning something new? Would Laura be more self-loving by keeping herself in the comfort zone or by expending her horizons? Would Laura practice love by taking her old job for granted or by staying alert on a new one?
When we call out what is causing us to fear and transmute it into a call for love, we take the right action, not of fear or prudence, but always out of love.
If you are afraid of taking actions towards anything in your life, then you are called to practice self-love. Would you be more loving by keeping the status quo or by trusting your wisdom?
Let your heart answer the question.
