Every other day we hear stories of smart, beautiful, dedicated and accomplished women who work very hard to achieve their goals to fall short from crossing the finish line. Why? Did they lose their focuses? Did they just give up? Did they lack determination or passion? Did they change their mind? I believe it is a combination of all these things, but they didn’t intend to do it. These driven people are victims of self- sabotage.
Self-sabotage is a safety mechanism that people adopt unconsciously to protect 
themselves from disappointment, pain, sorrow, or shame. In other words, people interrupt the path of success because there was a small seed that didn’t believe they could do it. They lacked self-trust.
When we unconsciously sabotage our goals, we have become a victim of your mind. Our brain is brilliant and wants to keep us safe. When we have an important goal and make the decision to work very hard to reach it, if our beliefs are not aligned with our goals, our mind will set up stop signs to get us to quit or fail.
The most common belief that will contradict all actions is lack of trust in self and in life. When we lack self-trust, we will tend to compensate for our insecurities with actions. That’s when we want to cross all T’s and dot all I’s. We work long days, weeks and months, and try to micromanage everything and everyone. We become workaholics, “thinkaholics,” and depleted.
The problem with workaholism is that these actions are often rewarded, and they seem to work, but they don’t. People who lack self-trust are often tired, overworked, and mentally, emotionally, and physically spent. In other words, they become burned out.
People who are burned out and don’t address it will fail or lose their passion. They will make careless mistakes that will sabotage their objectives and blame others for it. And they jeopardize all relationships in the process. Who wants to be around an angry person who can contaminate the emotions of the people around? Often, these burned out people will blame those closest to them, usually their families, friends, co-workers or anyone who they believe contributed to their exhaustion and lack of focus. But the truth is, they cannot blame anyone.
Burnout is a personal choice. No one forced you to work fourteen-hour day, seven days a week and then clean, cook, help a friend and short your sleep. No one is infiltrating your mind with thoughts of the problems of the day either. You are allowed to say NO and let go of is not helping you. You are not obligated to do everything.
The key question is how do we cross the finishing line of our desires? Here are my suggestions:
1) Look at your mindset. Your mind and your body cannot be in opposition for you to
reach your goals and aspirations. Your body can’t run if your mind believes your legs are tired. What do you believe about your goals and desires? Do you really want to succeed? What are the reasons for wanting it? Do you believe is possible? Do you think you can do what it takes? These type of questions will help you clear your mind and be aligned with your inner compass. You can always complete a passion inventory to help you get clear on your intentions.
2) Stop the habit of burnout. Do you use actions to compensate for your feelings of insecurity? Do you work long days to please others? Do you forget to eat or drink? Are you always working in your mind? Awareness is all is needed to set you off to a new habit of self-care. Find the best ways to heal burnout.
3) Begin to trust yourself. Trusting yourself begins with a decision you make. You may not be 100% behind yet, but you can get there slowly. You are the common denominator in every win or loss. You were born trusting. Trust is inside of you. Tap into your wisdom.
4) Slow down. Take the time to breathe. Sometimes, the obstacle we see is not real. Slowing it down will give you the opportunity to adjust your focus. Time constraints are also generated by luck of trust in life. Give it up since you have as much time as you think you do. If you need help with time, listen to the audio class “Share Your Gifts – 8 Tools to Improve the Overall Quality of Your Life” for support.
