As women, we often find ourselves juggling multiple roles, striving to do it all with seemingly superhuman effort. We anticipate everyone’s needs, offer help generously, and tackle an endless list of responsibilities. But at what cost?
Research highlights the prevalence of this issue among women. A study by KPMG found that 75% of executive women report having personally experienced imposter syndrome at certain points in their careers. Additionally, a survey by Lean in and McKinsey & Company revealed that 50% of women often feel they need to provide more evidence of their competence than men do.
This tendency to over-help while resisting assistance, what I call the ‘Superwoman Syndrome,’ is a shared experience among many of us. It’s a mindset where we default to saving the world (our world) while sacrificing ourselves in the process. We may have superpowers that benefit humanity, but this syndrome can lead to self-depletion and burnout.
The reluctance to ask for help isn’t just a personal struggle—it has professional implications, too. A study published in the Journal of Applied Psychology found that women are 25% less likely than men to ask for a raise, and when they do ask, they typically request for 30% less than men.
When we resist asking for help, we miss out on the natural circle of giving and receiving. There’s no shame in seeking assistance when you’re overwhelmed. Remember, reaching the top of the mountain alone isn’t as fulfilling as sharing the journey and the view with others. Asking for help not only lightens your load but also strengthens your relationships and fosters a sense of community.
Here are four strategies to enhance your ability to ask for and receive help:
1. Detach from the Outcome: Embrace Imperfection
Let go of expectations of rejection, shame, or disappointment. Be open to positive outcomes. Remember, perfection isn’t the goal—progress is. Embracing this mindset can alleviate the pressure and make the process of asking for help more manageable.
2. Start Slow: Ask for Help with Small Requests
Begin with simple asks, like a hug from a loved one or a cup of coffee from a colleague. Pay attention to how you feel before, during, and after receiving help.
3. Build Your Receiving Muscles: Acknowledge existing support
Make a list of everything you currently receive, no matter how small. Recognizing the generosity already present in your life will attract more.
4. Know that you deserve: Recognize your inherent worth
Remember the incredible power within you. You’re part of the amazing circle of giving and receiving, deserving of support and assistance.
Personal Anecdote:
I once struggled with letting my children help with dishes because they didn’t load the dishwasher “correctly,” (which is translated to “my way.” I used to go behind them and rearrange the dishes. I realized my need for control was holding me back from accepting help and teaching valuable life skills, especially around the holidays when I host lots of people.
Letting go of this perfectionism opens you up to new possibilities, shared responsibilities, and family bonding.
By practicing these strategies, you’ll improve your energy around giving and receiving. Remember, the circle of life isn’t about obligation—it’s about love and generosity. You don’t have to give to receive, and support can come from unexpected places.
Start small today. Ask for help with one task with which you’ve been struggling. Notice how it feels to receive support. Share your experiences in the comments below—your story might inspire others to break free from their own Superwoman Syndrome.
Remember, true strength lies not in doing it all alone but in building and nurturing a supportive community around you. You’re not just a superwoman—you’re a superhuman deserving of help, support, and success.
If you need additional support, check out my books “The Nine Powers of Women” and Self-Trust. The first has an entire chapter on the Power of Generosity, and the second has many strategies for letting go of Perfectionism, which is just a safety mechanism to avoid failure.
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